What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
How do snowmen travel around?
How do you call an eskimo cow?
What is Snowmen in May?
What’s the best thing to give your parents for Cristmas?
(Neither! Candles always burn shorter!)
What do elves learn in school?
(A list of everything you want!)
What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
[It was already wound up.]
How many reindeer does Santa Have???
[Its true, Comet cleans sinks!]
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
(the one with the red nose)
What nationality is Santa Claus?
[No, you can have turkey like everyone else.]
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
What kind of bird can write?
Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
[Because the angel had said,»No L!»]
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
[The turkey, he is always stuffed.]
Judge: «What are you charged with?»
Prisoner: «Doing my Christmas shopping early.»
Judge: «That’s not an offense. How early were you doing this shopping?»
Prisoner: «Before the store opened.»
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Clerk: «What denomination?»
Woman: «Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.»
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
[Jungle bells, jungle bells…]
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
[Pour Santa flush on him.]
Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)
What’s the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
Why does Santa’s sled get such good mileage?
[Because it has long-distance runners on each side.] What are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
[They both drop their needles.]
[because every buck is dear to him.] How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Who’s there ?
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas Tree?
[You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.]
What did the guest sing at the Eskimo Christmas Party?
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
[Freeze a jolly good fellow…]
What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
[It’s Christmas, Eve!]
What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
[We’ll have a boo Christmas without you.]
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
[Okay everyone, sack time!!]
If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa
[A subordinate claus.]
Claus travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened
they all noticed a $5 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up??
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
[Santa of course, the other two don’t exist!]
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
[The letter «D»!]
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
[So he can ho-ho-ho.]
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
[Because he had low elf esteem.]
Who’s there ?
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?